


Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your sword will break my heart

by purplesan



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Childhood Friends, Crimson Flower, Crimson Flower Route, Dorks, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Felix-centered, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Sylvix post-Crimson Flower, ashe being a good friend, sylvix - Freeform, their paired ending in any route except azure moon was too SAD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:01:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24041017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplesan/pseuds/purplesan
Summary: The last thing Felix remembered doing before passing out, was pleading for his sword to be delivered to Gautier territory.It was mildly embarrassing, now that he thought about it. He didn’t even know why he’d done it in the first place.He hadn’t seen Sylvain in several years, too busy travelling around as a mercenary, ever since the war had ended. He’d settled his affairs and abandoned his title, many years ago now.So why then, in his dying moments, had he been such a sentimental fool?
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 105





	Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your sword will break my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Sylvix' paired ending in any other route than Azure Moon is NOT okay and I'm NOT having it. So this is me fixing it. Thank you :')

The last thing Felix remembered doing before passing out, was pleading for his sword to be delivered to Gautier territory.

It was mildly embarrassing, now that he thought about it. He didn’t even know why he’d done it in the first place.

Felix hadn’t seen Sylvain in several years.

He’d been travelling around as a mercenary, ever since the war had ended. He’d settled his affairs and abandoned his title, many years ago now. The Fraldarius estate didn’t feel like home anymore, if it ever had, and with Edelgard planning on overthrowing the whole noble system anyway, he’d decided to dedicate his life to the only thing he was truly good at.

Felix had gone back to see Sylvain only once.

That had been years ago, yet he still thought of it as one of the biggest mistakes of his entire, miserable life. Sylvain had specifically requested him for the job, refusing any other mercenaries. Felix had made swift work of it, intending to leave the second he was done.

Sylvain’s attempt at a reunion fell upon deaf ears. Felix had ignored Sylvain’s puppy dog eyes, had strode past open arms ready to embrace him if he’d let them.

So why then, in his dying moments, had he been such a sentimental fool?

Which also begged the current question as to how he was currently even alive. He remembered the enemy’s sword piercing his chest all too vividly, and he wouldn’t have been here if he was naïve enough to think it had been a mercy from the Goddess.

Not to mention that while his enemy had been honourable enough to grant him a dying wish, they wouldn’t have kept him alive.

Felix tried taking a look around the room he was in, but it revealed little to him. It just looked like every other inn room he’d ever slept in, save for the fact it was a bit cleaner than usual.

‘What the hell.’ he cursed, attempting to get up. He definitely hadn’t imagined the fight, for the wound ached painfully as he moved. Someone had bothered to put bandages on him, and from the smell of it, even some herbs.

They must have been pretty naïve if they couldn’t tell an injured man apart from a dying one.

Just as Felix was mulling all of this over, the door creaked open. A man with silvery hair entered, though it was unlikely that colour was because of old age. His eyes may have looked tired, casting dark shadows on the freckled skin underneath, but he couldn’t be much older than Felix himself-…

Hold on a second.

‘ _Ashe?!_ ’

The other startled at the sudden exclamation, and was barely able to keep the tea cup on his tray from clattering to the ground.

‘Felix, you’re awake!’

Felix was absolutely dumbfounded. What were the odds of him ending up at Ashe’s inn, of all places?

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you…’ he huffed.

Ashe shook his head and put the tray down.

‘It’s fine, I just didn’t expect you to be up already. When we found you, you were in a pretty bad state. I didn’t know if-…’

‘If I would make it?’

‘Yeah. That.’

Ashe had seen a lot of death in his life, from what Felix could remember. And yet he still treated everyone with kindness and acceptance. He wondered if after all those years, that was still the case.

Frankly, it had to be, considering he’d wasted precious supplies on an ally he hadn’t spoken in years. How long had it been again?

‘What happened?’ Ashe interrupted his thoughts. ‘You used to be practically undefeatable.’

Felix scoffed. He couldn’t tell whether that was an insult directed at his current skill, or a compliment to his former. ‘Yeah well, no one’s undefeatable. I knew that when I set out.’

He looked the other straight in the eyes. ‘I was ready to die from the moment I left Fraldarius territory.’

Ashe swallowed thickly, and took a few seconds to reply. ‘Without even letting your friends know?’

Felix let out a bitter laugh. ‘What friends? I lost half of them when I defected, and the other half either to war or to my own awful behaviour. As if there’s anyone out there that would mourn for me.’

Upon hearing that reply, Ashe’s face contorted into an expression Felix hadn’t thought him capable of. He looked offended and angry. No, _furious_ even.

‘You seriously believe that?’

A pang of guilt and regret bubbled inside Felix’ chest, and he wished the pain from his injury was enough to make it go away. In reality, it probably made it worse. ‘I’m just saying no one would, nor _should_ , really care after so long-’

‘Felix, there are plenty of people that would care if you died. Mercedes, the professor, _me_ , just to name a few.’

Felix scoffed. ‘I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m-’

Ashe didn’t let him finish that sentence, glaring at him with such an intensity that Felix felt himself growing small under his gaze. When had this frail boy become so fierce?

‘You have no idea, do you?’

‘What the hell are you talking about?’ he whispered.

Ashe clenched his teeth. ‘Sylvain regularly sends me letters asking if you happened to have stayed at my inn. Asking if I’ve heard tales about you. And even then, it’s never in an attempt to find you. You made your feelings about that quite clear last time you two saw each other. He just wants to make sure you’re not _dead_.’

…and Felix had sent him his bloodied sword. He truly couldn’t get more insensitive.

‘…What?’

Ashe’s expression softened, and Felix could tell he hesitated before uttering his next words. ‘He cares a great deal about you, you know. He misses you.’

Felix sucked in a breath. ‘Why didn’t he just come looking for me, then?’

‘It’s like I said…he knew you didn’t want to be found.’

When he put it like this, that almost made him sound worse than Bernadetta. How much of a lone wolf had he made himself out to be? Back at the academy he’d wanted nothing more than for Sylvain to leave him alone, but now...

Did he actually miss him too?

With a sigh, Felix attempted to get up. He was pushed back almost immediately with a disapproving look from his host.

‘You need rest.’

‘I need to fix a mistake.’

‘Well, yes. But that needs to wait until you can walk without bleeding out on the spot.’ Ashe replied sternly.

 _Sylvain thinks I’m dead,_ Felix wanted to argue, but perhaps it was better that way. Then, if he changed his mind about seeing the man, he wouldn’t have to mourn his absence twice.

‘Fine.’

Ashe nodded, and quietly made his way back to the door again. ‘…Sleep well, Felix.’

* * *

It took Felix several days to even be able to get out of bed by himself. The wound on his chest ached with even the slightest of movements, but he wasn’t about to let that stop him.

To his own surprise, he hadn’t changed his mind about seeing Sylvain yet.

(If only to let him know he wasn’t actually dead).

Currently, he was at Ashe’s breakfast table, helping himself to whatever it was the man had made for him. He may not have known its name, but it sure as hell tasted great. He’d forgotten how good food could taste when made by someone who actually enjoyed making it.

‘If everyone at the inn liked my cooking as much as you do, I’d be rich in a week.’ Ashe laughed, and Felix scowled in response. That didn’t stop him from helping himself to another bite though.

Despite Ashe’s seemingly cheerful small talk, Felix could sense sorrow lurking beneath the surface. He couldn’t say he was surprised; he just wished it wasn’t so.

‘Thank you, for patching me back up. You’re a good person, Ashe.’

The man smiled a little, and shook his head. ‘Anyone would have done the same.’

He doubted that. ‘Still.’

No more words were wasted on the subject. They both knew about the horrors they’d seen and the people they’d lost; there were no further words needed. They all had regrets, and Felix wasn’t about to reopen old wounds for the sake of a mere compliment.

It was a mutual agreement.

‘I should go.’ Felix eventually said, glancing in Ashe’s direction.

The other nodded in understanding. ‘You should come and visit again sometime, though preferably under more pleasant circumstances…’

Felix let out a slight chuckle. ‘Right.’

He couldn’t remember why he’d been avoiding Ashe’s inn in the first place. Perhaps he was afraid he’d be stuck in the past if he acquainted himself with any of his old allies, though right now it felt like the opposite was true. Being here after all those years felt like a relief.

He wondered if seeing Sylvain again would have the same effect, or if he’d feel suffocated like last time.

‘Thanks for everything, Ashe.’ the man said, grabbing his stuff and getting ready to go.

Ashe smiled softly at him and nodded.

‘Say hi to Sylvain from me.’

* * *

It was only when Felix stood in front of the door to the Gautier estate that he realized how deteriorated the building looked. It was far from the impressive place Felix remembered visiting as a child.

He couldn’t tell whether that was because the meaning of nobility had changed drastically in the past years, or because Sylvain had neglected it due to other reasons.

As Felix stood there, his arm grew heavier by the second. It seemed so easy to just knock on these familiar doors, and yet, he was frozen in place.

He wasn’t scared.

Felix Hugo Fraldarius didn’t get _scared_. He’d put a sword through people he’d considered his friends, once upon a lifetime. How could a simple task like knocking on Sylvain’s door possibly scare him?

Felix grit his teeth and lifted his arm. His hand was now mere inches away from touching the wood.

Perhaps this had been a bad idea.

(No, he owed it to the man to at least let him know he was alive).

He closed his eyes and counted to ten. Then, he knocked on the heavy door with a shaky hand. There was no going back now.

He heard some rumbling inside, and something that sounded like people arguing. It occurred to Felix that he didn’t even know if Sylvain had ever decided to marry. It shouldn’t have made a difference to him, but perhaps it meant his presence was unwanted.

Why should it matter anyway? He was just here to tell the man a simple “hey, I’m not dead”, and then he’d be on his way again. He had no intention of staying, wife or not.

The door swung open, and he took a step back so as not to be hit by it. The woman standing in front of him must have been a servant, judging from her clothes.

‘Yes?’

‘…I’m here to see the Margrave.’

The woman’s eyes narrowed. ‘Name?’

‘Felix…Fraldarius.’

It felt strange mentioning his last name again. As a mercenary, no one usually cared.

Not a second after he’d mentioned his name, the door swung shut again. Felix blinked, and sighed. If he wasn’t welcome, they should have just said so. (Perhaps that was just wishful thinking though. Perhaps he was hoping for an easy way out of this confronting situation.)

A moment passed, and the door swung open yet again, this time even more violently than before.

Felix scoffed. ‘I’m not paying for any damage you cause that door, just to be clear. I’m not here to-’

He was getting interrupted a lot lately. Though this time, it was because someone with a familiar mop of red hair had decided to tackle him to the ground in a hug. How annoying.

‘Can you get _off_ of me, you’re fucking heavy…’ he complained, though the person on top of him didn’t seem to be planning on moving anytime soon.

‘You’re alive.’ he whispered instead.

‘ _Sylvain._ ’

‘ _Felix._ ’

Felix scowled. ‘You’re crushing me.’

‘Right, yeah, sorry-…’ the redhead mumbled, composing himself and getting up again. He held out his hand to help Felix up too, but the latter shook him off and got up without any help.

Sylvain looked rather different from the last time Felix had seen him. His hair was even messier than he remembered it, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He’d lost a bit of weight too, and while that shouldn’t surprise Felix considering Sylvain’s ever-lacking motivation to train, this looked more…severe.

The most noteworthy detail that couldn’t be directly blamed on Sylvain’s lack of self-care was his beard.

It was then that Felix noticed he’d been staring.

(Though in all honesty, Sylvain had been staring at him too).

‘You look awful.’

Sylvain let out an awkward chuckle. ‘Ever the charmer. Nice to see you too.’

Felix scowled and dusted off his clothes, though he felt he didn’t have the right to complain any more, considering he’d let the other believe he was dead.

Neither of them was quite sure what to say.

‘So…are you going to invite me in, or do you really want me to do this outside?’

‘Right, yes, of course. I’m…glad you’re here. Please do come inside.’ Sylvain said, gesturing towards the door. He looked like a child trying to supress their excitement.

In fact, save for the child-part, that was most likely exactly what he was doing.

The servant girl looked them a bit funnily when they passed, and Felix briefly wondered if Sylvain’s outburst had been an unusual display, or if they were used to his behaviour by now. Judging from the way the man always managed to put on a mask, it could be either.

Sylvain led them to what appeared to be his study, and quickly shuffled around to tidy it up. Felix could just make out the empty bottle he tried to hide behind his desk, and crossed his arms. ‘You’ve been drinking?’

‘What, are you here to lecture me?’ Sylvain shot back.

‘ _No_ , I just-…ugh, forget it. What you do when I’m not around isn’t any of my business.’

Felix didn’t mention the fact he hadn’t been around in…quite some time.

It was quiet for a moment.

‘I thought you were dead.’ Sylvain eventually brought out. He was unable to mask the pain in his voice as he said this. ‘They gave me your sword, and I assumed the worst had happened…’

‘It would have, if Ashe hadn’t found me.’ Felix mumbled. He felt like a kid being scolded by their parent for lying. ‘I’m sorry.’

Sylvain shook his head. ‘I’m glad you’re back.’

Somehow, Felix didn’t think he was just talking about getting “back to life”.

‘I-…came to apologize.’ he eventually stated. ‘For…giving you a scare. It was thoughtless of me. It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.’

Cold and straight-forward. Only a few emotions attached.

If he said any more, who knew what kind of stupid things would come out of his mouth.

Sylvain fumbled with a pen lying on his desk, using it to distract himself and to look anywhere but at Felix. When no reply came, the latter sighed.

‘I should go.’ he said.

‘Stay.’ Sylvain said simultaneously.

Finally, their eyes met.

‘…For dinner, at least…’ Sylvain muttered.

And really, Felix should have said no. He’d regret it, say stupid shit, make more mistakes, _get attached_.

‘Sure.’ came his reply instead.

What had he gotten himself into?

* * *

‘So…how have you been?’ Sylvain ended up asking, if only to break the godawful silence between them.

They were currently having the dinner Sylvain insisted he stayed around for, and judging from the dusty dining table, that wasn’t something the other often did in this room.

‘Really, that’s all you can think of to ask?’

It didn’t sound bitter.

(At least, he hoped it didn’t.)

Back in the day anything that came out of his mouth was tinged with a hint of bitterness and anger. Sylvain had been on the receiving end of those remarks more than once.

‘I don’t hear you coming up with any better questions.’ he shot back, taking a sip of water to hide his grin.

No offence taken then. Good. Sylvain had always been one of the few people to respond to Felix’ bitterness with nothing but mindless optimism. It was almost a relief to see that hadn’t changed.

‘I _do_ have another question though.’ Felix said, looking right at him.

He waited for a while before continuing, then motioned at the redhead’s beard.

‘…Are you really planning to keep that?’

Sylvain nearly spat out his drink from how hard he tried to contain his laughter, and Felix felt a strangely pleasant feeling in his chest upon hearing the sound. It seemed to lighten the mood at least, which was something they both really needed after years of estrangement.

‘What, you don’t like it? It’s quite popular with the ladies, I’ll have you know.’

Felix rolled his eyes. ‘Are you still going on about that?’

‘Hey, I never married! Cut a guy some slack, I need _someone_ telling my I’m handsome in my old age, or I’ll positively _die_ of sadness.’

Well, at least that answered one of Felix’ earlier questions.

‘You’re not unpleasant to look at…’ Felix hummed. ‘If you got rid of the beard…and maybe picked up training again.’

This time, Sylvain full-on would have dropped the glass if he hadn’t been holding it so close to the table already.

‘You think I’m handsome?’

‘That’s not what I said, but sure. It’s not as if your ego was big enough already. Unless that’s changed, over the years, but I doubt it.’

Sylvain grinned and leaned over the table. ‘Come on, tell me I’m handsome again. I liked it.’

‘Fuck off.’

Felix really hoped the flush on his cheeks would remain unseen by the other man. They weren’t teenagers anymore; getting riled up over one flirtatious comment was ridiculous.

(Of course, most flirtatious comments he’d ever received hadn’t been initiated by his childhood best friend and-…although he’d die before admitting it, childhood _crush_.)

‘Alright, alright…’ Sylvain hummed, toying with the rim of his glass. ‘There is something I find curious though.’

Anything to stir the conversation away from the subject of Sylvain’s handsomeness. ‘Spit it out then.’

Felix noticed Sylvain biting his lip as if in thought, and tried not to pay attention to it.

‘Why did you sent your sword to _me_ , of all people?’

Felix swallowed thickly. He’d been intending to avoid answering that question.

‘Who else would I have sent it to?’

Not quite the detached answer he was going for, but it would do.

‘I don’t know. Back to your territory? The professor, maybe? I didn’t expect you to send something so important to me. Not after-…well, you know.’ Sylvain mumbled, avoiding eye contact. ‘It almost made me wonder…if perhaps…you actually still cared about me.’

At that, Felix’ head shot up. ‘Of course I care about you.’

So much for “detached”.

‘Sure didn’t seem that way before.’

‘Well I do.’

The only sound was that of Sylvain slowly moving back his chair then. ‘Is that so.’

Felix hated this. He hated talking about his emotions; hated being so vulnerable. After all those years, perhaps he owed it to Sylvain to be honest about what he was feeling, but that didn’t mean it was easy.

‘I heard from Ashe you’ve been asking about me.’ he breathed out.

A chuckle. Sylvain was walking towards him now. ‘Is that your way of asking if I still care about you too?’

Felix could practically feel this heart thumping inside his chest, and briefly wondered if Sylvain could hear it too. Last time he’d had this much adrenaline running through his veins he’d been attempting to get away from a group of bandits while unarmed.

‘Do you?’

‘Do you really still need to ask that?’ the other murmured, placing a hand on the back of his chair. ‘You’re my best friend, Felix. That didn’t stop because you started being bitter and dedicating all your time to training. It didn’t stop when you left to be a mercenary, and it didn’t stop when-…’

Sylvain faltered, looking at him with almost pleading eyes.

‘When…?’

Felix’ voice betrayed him, soft in a way that was almost unrecognizable. He felt small, under the man’s gaze, and it wasn’t just because of their height difference.

‘When I kissed you.’

Kissed him? What on earth was he talking about? They’d never-…

Oh.

Sylvain’s lips were on his in that moment, and Felix found himself not particularly keen on pulling away. He really should have seen that one coming, and yet here he was; unsuspecting and vulnerable as ever.

Surprisingly, it was _Sylvain_ who pulled away first.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.’ he whispered, eyes trying to find a place to look at without seeming like a complete idiot. Perhaps Felix made that a little difficult for the man by staring directly at him.

‘Why did you never marry?’ he breathed out.

Sylvain winced. ‘You really don’t know?’

‘Stop doing that!’ Felix brought out, not looking away from the man’s face. ‘You keep on acting like I should _know_ these things as if they’re obvious. You act like I’m stupid for not realizing and it makes me _mad_ , because they’re not obvious to _me_.’

Sylvain stared at him in disbelief.

‘Wow, I thought you were being cruel, but you really _are_ just extremely dense-…’ he managed to say, letting out a small laugh as if he couldn’t believe his ears. ‘Felix, I’m in love with you.’

Felix was dumbfounded.

‘You what?’

‘ _I’m in love with you._ ’

‘You’re joking.’

Sylvain let out a pained chuckle, and it was in that moment he realized perhaps he _wasn’t_. It seemed almost surreal. His young, teenage self would have been absolutely exasperated at Sylvain’s sudden declaration. Shocked and offended that his friend would treat him like one of his girls, but also-…

…relieved?

Relieved, because he’d fallen for a complete idiot, and the idiot loved him _back._

‘You mean that.’

It was more of an observation than a question.

‘I do.’

He hesitated for a while. ‘I know I may not have acted like it much, but how was I to know the feeling was reciprocated?’

Felix looked down and tried to come up with proper sentences despite the ringing in his ears. ‘In all fairness, you’re not entirely wrong. Teenage me would have probably kicked your ass for saying something like that.’

‘And adult you?’

As if by magnetism, Felix looked up to meet the other’s gaze. He didn’t have an answer to that, so instead, he just reached for Sylvain’s collar to pull him into another kiss.

Perhaps this was better than what he’d originally came for.

‘Adult me might just want to indulge.’

* * *

Felix awoke in a warm bed, a pleasant buzz in his ears and a satisfying soreness in his muscles. It was almost as good a feeling as the one he had after a decent fight or training session.

A calloused hand was gently moving through his loose hair, and he moved into the touch with a hum.

‘Good morning to you too, Fe.’ the owner of said hand said with a chuckle. ‘Sleep well?’

‘Mhh…’ the swordsman murmured, rolling over so he could press himself against Sylvain’s chest. ‘Better than in a long time.’

And it was true. He’d never admit it out loud (unless Sylvain managed to be _extra_ convincing one day), but it was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

‘Good.’ the other man murmured, moving his hand so he could trace the scar on Felix’ chest instead. ‘Me too.’

It was quiet for a moment.

‘I never thought I’d have this.’

Finally, Felix opened his eyes. ‘What, someone to wake up to? Surely that shouldn’t be a problem for you, considering your antics back in the day.’ he hummed, playing with Sylvain’s beard for good measure. Perhaps he didn’t hate the thing as much as he’d originally thought.

The redhead let out a chuckle. ‘Most people would be gone by morning. Anyway, I meant _this_. **_You_**. And even then, I thought you might be gone by morning too. Yet here you are.’

‘Here I am.’

Sylvain sucked in a breath. ‘What do you intend to do now?’

Felix had to think about that for a while. He wasn’t planning on giving up the thrill of a fight, but being a mercenary had become a little boring. There simply weren’t many interesting jobs to take on with the war so far in a distant past.

(Not in his; he remembered vividly, every day.)

Not to mention his near-death experience hadn’t exactly been pleasant. He thought he didn’t care about dying, but he was wrong. Well, perhaps it wasn’t necessarily that he feared death; it was more that he feared what it would do to people like Sylvain.

‘I haven’t decided yet.’ he eventually said, moving so he could look directly in Sylvain’s eyes. ‘I don’t suppose you have any interesting proposals in that silly head of yours?’

‘If you wanted a _proposal_ , you should have just _said_ so, Felix-’ the man joked, which earned him a pillow stuffed in his face.

‘Idiot.’

‘You like me that way~’

The worst was that it was true.

Sylvain smiled softly at him, and for once, it seemed genuine. ‘In all seriousness though, you could stay here, with me.’

‘I just might.’

That answer came far easier than he’d anticipated.

Sylvain’s smile became impossibly brighter, and Felix moved so he could get out of bed. The other man reached for him uselessly, and he scoffed in amusement.

‘At least, I will if your breakfast-making skill is up to my standard.’

Sylvain let out a laugh. ‘I won’t disappoint.’

Felix didn’t doubt that.

(And in all honesty; _staying_ sounded rather appealing to him in that moment. They had a lot to discuss, but-…

if all their talks went like the ones they’d had in the past day, perhaps that wouldn’t be so bad.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
